


White Heart, Exposed

by revior



Category: The Witcher (TV), Wiedźmin | The Witcher - All Media Types
Genre: AU, Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Angst, Character Death, Eventual Smut, Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia Has Feelings, Human, Language, M/M, Not Beta Read, Not Canon Compliant, Pain, Past Relationship(s), Sad, h/c, no supernatural
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-22
Updated: 2020-10-22
Packaged: 2021-03-09 04:48:36
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,729
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27148273
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/revior/pseuds/revior
Summary: In the summer, Geralt fell in love with one of his closest acquaintances, learning how painful one-sided love is, or at least that’s what he thought. But of course, nothing about Jaskier is that simple. He just had to go and change everything.Because by the next summer, the world Geralt knew was completely different.
Relationships: Geralt/Jaskier
Comments: 2
Kudos: 10





	White Heart, Exposed

Love seemed easy to Jaskier, maybe even too easy.

Geralt never understood how one person could love someone else and trust someone that well in such a short period of time. Jaskier had met Yennefer back in October, back when things seemed so easy for everyone. And he told Geralt that he was in love with her before November started.

Geralt couldn’t tell him that it was all too fast, that he would soon understand that fast love counts for nothing and he should just let Yennefer go, but he understood that he should just stay quiet and pretend as if nothing happened. Because in truth, he wasn’t sure that anything did.

Seeing Jaskier be happier with the girl than he’d ever been before was what pained him most of all. Geralt thought that he was the one who made the boy feel better, but he thought wrong.

Jaskier had also started spending more and more of his time with Yennefer instead of Geralt. Things were changing, slowly but surely.

There was something about the lonely afternoons that pained him.

Geralt wasn’t sure why, but that afternoon, he decided to give Jaskier a phone call and invite him over. Maybe it wasn’t a very good decision, but who could judge him? He was just doing things because of love.

No answers hurt a lot more than Denial, although Geralt wasn't sure that he would still feel that way once his friend would turn him down.

Jaskier rang the doorbell and walked in right after, the big smile on his face fading as soon as he saw that Geralt wasn’t in a good mood. Or at least a worse mood than he was in usually. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing, I just wanted to talk to you."

"You don't look okay, Geralt. What's wrong?" continued to push Geralt, not ready to let the entire thing go. "I don't want to force information out of you but if you continue to keep things from me, then I won't have a choice."

Geralt took a deep breath before answering. "What if you won't be happy with what I have to say?"

"Then I won't be happy with it. But I assure you, I need you to tell me what's bothering you so I can help you move past it and make it all better for you. That's all I want right now." Jaskier's voice was full of emotion, something that Geralt hardly felt.

The older man didn't want to answer. There was no point in doing it, right? Jaskier would just think of him as weird and would push him away, something that he didn't need at all. But what if that wouldn't be the case?

That was the state of his mind all day, every day. There were two possibilities and both of them were extremely risky, but what's life without a little risk?

"I know for a fact that if I told you, you would look at me differently and I don't want that. I want you to look at me the same way that you do now and for things to never change, no matter what."

"I think that's one of the longest things you've ever said to me, Geralt. I would never judge you for anything or look at you differently. I just want to be here for you because you've always been there for me when I needed help."

Jaskier put his hand on Geralt's shoulder, apparently not feeling his friend tremble because of the touch. "I repeat. I would never judge you, Geralt."

At that moment, Geralt wished that they were in a different world, where he wouldn't be human and he could read Jaskier's mind and tell if it was the appropriate moment to tell him. Or to tell if it ever would be an appropriate time to tell him.

But those were just fairy tales and unfortunately they weren't living one, something that he would have to get used to, the sooner the better.

"I might tell you one day, Jaskier. But I can't tell you now." It pained Geralt to say those things. It was useless to tell himself that he would one day tell his best friend that he was in love with him, and had been for a while.

And then, another thought popped into his brain. "Would you want to stay over tonight? I don't really feel like being all alone."

"Sometimes I really don't understand how someone who looks like you can have so many fears. You look fiercer than the gladiators from Rome but sometimes can't even sleep alone."

"Is that a no?" asked Geralt, his mood immediately dropping even more.

A smirk appeared on Jaskier's face. "No, of course not. When did I ever give up a chance to stay here?"

"Never," admitted the older man, a smile on his face. Maybe everything in his life wasn't as bad as he first expected, then.

"Do you have something to drink? I feel the need to get drunk."

Of course, Geralt had alcohol in his home. It was something that he couldn't survive without, even when he tried. His old friends often told him that he was an alcoholic, but he didn't even care. So what if he were one?

"I'll go get a bottle or two," said Geralt, then walked to the small storage in which he kept wine and olives that were given to him as gifts and he'd never eat. He also made a mental reminder to himself to stock up on drinks since he was almost out of hard liquor.

He grabbed a bottle of wine. _Just to get started_ , he said to himself, then came back to the living room where Jaskier was already sitting on the couch, legs on the small table next to it. "Of course you brought wine. You know I'm not some sort of pussy that can only drink wine, right? If you wanted to have one over, you could've just invited Yenn."

"I can go get something else," proposed Geralt, completely ignoring the fact that his best friend just insulted his girlfriend.

"No, it's fine. We can get to the other stuff later. I'm guessing you can't wait to do that, do you?" The ever-lasting smirk on Jaskier's face was even more apparent now.

The guest picked up a glass from the table - he must've gone to get it in the other man's absence - and opened the bottle. He poured some wine in it and looked at Geralt. "You don't mind if I do, do you?"

Of course, Geralt didn't mind. He would probably be the one to get even more drunk throughout the night, so why prevent his best friend from having some fun? "Not at all."

He then picked up the other glass and poured some wine for himself, downing it immediately before pouring himself another.

* * *

Two hours later, the two were completely pissed.

"I fucking hate Yenn," said Jaskier out of nowhere. 

Geralt didn't answer, instead, he just nodded. There was no point in saying anything anyway, he knew that nothing he could say would change the guest's mind.

"Why, you might ask? She always feels the need to control everything and I just can't handle that anymore. I can't handle that she wants complete control over me and doesn't let me do what I want in life." He then took a deep breath, burped, and continued. "You know what, maybe I should just break up with her. She's probably banging someone else while making me feel like a fucking asshole just for having eyes for someone besides her."

Geralt, who could handle alcohol a lot better than Jaskier, was surprised that the man could say that entire speech without stopping, throwing up, or passing out. "Who do you have eyes for? Besides her, I mean."

"I mean, I don't even know. But I can't look at a woman and say, wow she looks nice, without her making me feel like I'm cheating. But she can go on and on-" Jaskier took a sip from his drink. "-about how fucking good her colleagues look and everything. Not that it bothers me that she does that, because I know that we're all just human. But it's the fact that she makes me feel guilty for doing something she does too."

The owner of the home didn't know what to say. It was obvious that Jaskier was exaggerating, but at the same time, who was to say that Yennefer wasn't cheating on him? "Just dump her," he said out of nowhere, surprising even himself with those words.

"What?" asked Jaskier, confused.

"I mean, why not? You're saying you fucking hate her and call her a pussy on the same day, tell me that she's basically taking away your rights, so what are you waiting for?"

It must have been the excess of alcohol in his system, because just minutes later, Jaskier was dialing his girlfriend, waiting for almost a minute before she answered. "Hey," he said."

Fortunately, the volume was high enough for Geralt to hear everything too. "Why are you calling me right now, Jas? It's past midnight."

"I just wanted to call... I'm breaking up with you, Yenn."

"What the fuck? Are you drunk? You sound like you're drunk right now." Jaskier didn't answer to that, because he knew that it was very hard to lie to her. "Are you with Geralt? I told you to stop hanging out with him. He's gonna get you addicted to alcohol or some other stuff. Just come here and we can talk."

"Stop trying to control me, Yennefer. I'm not your pet and I don't need you to treat me like one. I can do things by myself and I will do everything in my power to make you stop controlling me. Goodbye." With that, he hung up.

Yennefer called back immediately, but he didn't answer. And again. And again. And again. And then came the messages, tons of them. Jaskier just turned off his phone, not reading them. "I feel so good right now."

"You just broke up with your girlfriend and you feel good? Are you sure?" Geralt wanted Jaskier to be sure, but a part of him knew that he was very much trying to convince both of them.

"I just made a huge mistake, didn't I?"


End file.
